Just Give Me a Reason
by darkelf1313
Summary: After all these years, can two former Rangers find their way back to each other? Can they deal with the issues of their past, and whatever challenges the future may throw at them? AU, set Pre-Dino Thunder, but may continue into an AU version of that series. **I don't own anything except my original characters. **
1. Chapter 1 - The Reunion

It was a rare cold, gray day in Angel Grove as Tommy Oliver checked his tie in the mirror. The pocket square, a bright sunshine yellow, was the only spot of color on the otherwise somber black suit. He ran a hand through his hair, it now cropped short and spiky, and let out a deep sigh. This was not how he had thought he and his old friends would be reunited. In all the scenarios he had ever imagined, the death of one of their own wasn't something he could have prepared for. He'd been a Ranger, had led so many of his friends into countless battles against evil, and they had never lost anyone. And now...one of them was gone. And she hadn't been lost in battle, fighting the forces of evil as she had deserved, but she had been lost to the careless selfishness of someone who got behind the wheel while drunk, lost control, and took the life of one of the bravest and and fiercest women he's ever known. The idea that the world continued to turn without Trini Kwan was something he simply couldn't wrap his head around. Sure, they had all gone their separate ways after Angel Grove, with the occasional call or email, but there was always that plan of 'someday'. Someday they would be together again as a group, as the extended family that they were. But those some days had run out. They would all be together again, but minus one. Forever, they would now be missing one of their number, and nothing could change that. He resolved to call his parents and his brother, David, as soon as he got back from the funeral and reception. He knew he had been neglecting such communications lately, between his memory, and the busy schedule of a PhD candidate, he had allowed himself to keep putting off returning those calls until things settled down a bit, but now he knew he had to stop putting things off for tomorrows that none of them were guaranteed to have.

* * *

The church service had been packed, and as Tommy had arrived just before it started, he had to grab a seat in the back. Trini had touched so many lives in her short time on Earth, and is seemed all of them had come to say goodbye. Jason had quickly caught his eye as he had helped to bear Trini's casket down the center aisle, and Tommy had seen the unshed tears in them. She and Jason had dated briefly, and though it has been over a long time ago, Tommy knew that this had to be hard on him. He wondered how the others were holding up...those that had been closest to her; Zack and Billy and...Kim. Even now, after so many years, just thinking her name flooded him with so many memories, most good, but some so heartbreaking that it nearly brought him to tears. He realized with a start that she was likely here, somewhere in this crowd. He had not seen her since Murianthas, and they hadn't spoken since long before then. He'd wanted to clear the air between them, demand an explanation for that damned letter, but there had never been a good time. He knew this was neither the time not the place for that conversation, but he hoped that he could at least see her and let her know how sorry he was that Trini was gone. Kim and Trini had been best friends since before he had known them both, and he knew that the woman who still held so much of his heart had to be hurting badly right now.

* * *

The graveside service was much smaller than the church service had been, limited only to those who knew Trini best. Mostly it was family and friends from Angel Grove, though there were some faces Tommy didn't recognize, even a little girl whom he guessed belonged to one of the unfamiliar faces that represented her close friends that she made after leaving the was a sea of black, broken by little spots of yellow throughout, as everyone had worn a little something yellow to remember the original Yellow Ranger. Those who were not in on the secret simply thought it a nod to her favorite color, but the former Rangers in attendance knew the true significance of it.

The minister stood at the front of the assembled crowd as the misty rain continued. Tommy couldn't help but think even the heavens were crying for their lost friend and teammate. Beside the minister was a large picture of Trini as Tommy remembered her and a huge arrangement of yellow flowers. It looked like a sunburst.

"We are gathered here to mourn the passing, but also to celebrate the extraordinary life of Trini Kwan. It is difficult for those of us who have been touched by her light to imagine her gone, and in such times, anger is often a natural response. Anger at the driver, whose poor choices led to the accident. Anger at ourselves, for not being as in touch as we wished we had been, that possibility now forever taken from us. And anger at God, for the injustice of it all. But instead, I urge you to remember who Trini was, and instead respond with love. Because Trini was love and light to so many of you. Keep that light and love in your hearts, and share it with the world around you, as she did with all those whose lives she touched. Never save for tomorrow love that can be shared today. None of us knows the time nor place when we will be called home. Let us not go to our maker with unshared love in our hearts or unspoken words on our tongues. Love, like light, is not a resource we must conserve. It only grows when shared. If you want to remember her and honor her, do as she did, and share your love with all those who need it."

There was a pause here, as many people had to pause to wipe their eyes and regain their composure after the minister's words. For Tommy, he couldn't help but feel like those words had been spoken straight to him. He had so many unspoken 'I love yous' that he just needed to say. And he would. Today.

He looked to the front where the minister looked like he was ready to continue.

"At this time, on behalf of the Kwan family, I would like to invite her best friend, Kimberly, to come say a few words."

Tommy's heart nearly stopped. Being escorted to the podium by Jason was the petite brunette whose face still haunted his dreams, and whom no other woman had ever been able to measure up to. She looked so pale and thin, her eyes red and puffy from crying, but she was still beautiful to him. Her tiny frame looked to be leaning heavily on Jason for support until she got to the podium. She wore a conservative black dress, her one concession being a yellow headband. Tommy had never seen her minus her trademark pink. She cleared her throat, and addressed the gathered mourners.

"Thank you, Reverend Michaels for your kind words. Trini was indeed all of those things to do many people. But to me, she was something so much more. She was my best friend, my heart sister. I've known her almost my whole life. She was there with me through some of the best times of my life, sharing my joys and triumphs. She was also with me through some of the hardest and worst times of my life, helping to soothe my pain and shoulder my burdens. Never did I imagine that I would have to live in a world that she wasn't just a phone call away. How does someone move on from something like this? How do you survive when part of your heart is gone? You simply do. You remember the wonderful memories, and you cherish the blessings you still have, because to do otherwise would be a slap in the face to the one who can't be there to enjoy them anymore. Trini, we may commit your body to the ground today, but your soul, that most bright and beautiful part of you, has gone on to a better place, and I know there will come a time when we will see you again. Until then, I will look for your light in every sunrise, and your love in the hearts of everyone. I will miss you, so much. Godspeed."

Kim's voice cracked on the last word, and she began to sob, the cries heart and gut wrenching. As the sobs continued to cause her body to shake, it looked like her legs might give out, and after all this time, he wanted nothing more than to go hold her; to wrap her in his arms and support her and kiss away her tears. He could feel himself starting forward to catch her, when Jason beat him to the punch, taking hold of her and leading her back to her seat.

Tommy ached to be the one to comfort her. All the anger and confusion and hurt that he had felt towards her over the years evaporated when faced with her raw pain. He could face monsters, evil aliens, and everything else that had been thrown at him over the years, but he had never been able to handle her tears. He resolved to find a way to talk to her. He knew she and Jason had always stayed in close contact, and he may be able to convince Jason to arrange a meet up. There were still a lot of questions he needed answers to, and a number of things they needed to work through, but he still wanted her to know he cared and could be there for her as a friend. He ignored the little voice that said he and Kim had never and could never be just friends.

The casket was lowered, it also covered in a sea of yellow blooms. The reverend thanked everyone for coming and those gathered began to stand and group up to talk to each other, most going to offer their sympathies to Trini's parents. Tommy watched as Jason did so, and then made his way through the people and back to him.

"Hey Jason. How you holding up, man?"

Jason answered with a somber nod of his head. "About as well as can be expected. Listen, we are planning on having a little private get together after this. Just those of us who wore the uniform. Zack rented out the old juice bar for us for the afternoon and evening. And yes, there will be stronger stuff than juice there. You'll be there, right?"

Tommy nodded , and then swallowed thickly, working up the courage to ask about Kim.

"Yeah, of course. Um… will...will *she* be there?"

Jason was mildly amused. He wondered how long it would take his best friend to ask about her. Personally, he had thought the two of them should have worked things out between them years ago, but he knew better than to push.

"Maybe. She is, as I am sure you noticed, pretty broken up about everything. I'll find out how she's feeling. If not, I will give her a ride to her hotel and then meet the rest of the gang there."

Jason then wrapped Tommy in a big bear hug. The two of them were as close as brothers, perhaps even more so, but such displays of affection were not commonplace between them. Tommy guessed that the minister's words had resonated with more than just him.

As Jason broke the hug and went to go catch up with someone else, Tommy noticed that the little girl he had seen earlier was now wandering around on her own. She had a yellow daisy in her hand, and a bright yellow sash on her black dress. She couldn't be more than about 5, and Tommy guessed that this all may be very confusing to her. He couldn't imagine trying to process something like this at her age. Hell, he was barely processing it himself. Still, he wondered where her parents were to be letting her wander around like this.

The girl seemed to realize that Tommy was watching her. She turned to look at him, cocking her head to the side in a curious way. She then skipped her way over to him and stopped.

"Hello!"

Tommy froze for a moment. Little kids was something he had no experience dealing with.

"Um...Hi. What's your name?"

"My name is Jessica. I am not supposed to tell strangers that, but I don't think you are one."

Tommy couldn't help but smile at her. "What makes you think I am not a stranger?"

She gave him this look like it should be obvious. "You were talking to my Uncle Jason, and he hugged you. If you are friends with him, then you aren't a stranger."

Tommy could almost hear the unspoken *duh* at the end of what she said. And who the heck was this kid that she knew Jason well enough to call him uncle?

The little girl stamped her foot, breaking him from his thoughts. "I told you my name. S' not polite to not tell me yours!"

Tommy grinned again. She was certainly a feisty one. "You're right. How rude of me. My name is Tommy. Tommy Oliver."

The girl's face got a funny look on it. "Do you know my mommy? She knows Uncle Jason too. She says Tommy in her sleep when she's sad...did you make my mommy sad?"

Tommy's eyes practically bugged out of his head. He took a closer look at the girl. Petite, hair was the right color but curly, but the attitude...and those eyes...dear God, could it be?

He did his best to steady his voice. "I don't know, sweetie. What is your Mommy's name?"

The girl brightened up again. "Her name is Kim. She's the bestest mommy in the world, even though she's really sad right now. See, she's over there."

The girl, Jessica pointed, and Tommy turned to look, already knowing with the girl's words who she would be pointing at. His eyes landed on the woman who had broken his heart so long ago, and yet still held so much of it. Then he looked at the girl. Christ, how old was she? Was she the child of the man Kim had left him for? If so….where was he? Or...could she be...God...what if? If the girl was small for her age, like her mother, then could she be...his? Tommy searched her features. He could see a lot of Kim in her, but there were some features that were not hers...like the curly hair. He looked down at Jessica again. "Is your daddy here too?" What would he do if brought face to face with the man who has ruined so many things in his life?

Her little face fell and she got quiet. She whispered "I don't have one." Her lip started to quiver a bit, and he heard the sniffle, and was sure a flood of tears was soon to follow. He reacted without thinking, and wrapped the little girl in a hug, lifting her right off the ground and holding her close, her head against his shoulder.

"Don't cry, princess. It's okay. I know that your Mommy loves you very much, and your Uncle Jason, and everyone else you know, too. How could they not?"

The girl stopped sniffling as quickly as she had started. "You called me princess. Mommy calls me that too. I think you are ok, Mr. Tommy."

He smiled at her, still holding her in his arms. "Thanks, princess. I think you are pretty ok too."

He was still holding her when he heard Kim's voice. "Jason, I can't find Jessie, is she...with...you…?"

He turned to the sound to see Kim staring at him, eyes wide and jaw dropped. Jason came up next to her, also catching sight of Tommy holding Jessie. Jason's face also registered shock, but Tommy could see a bit of something else in his eyes. Something that looked like...humor. He would have to find out what that was all about later, not to mention the fact that his best friend had clearly known all along that Kim, his Kim, had a daughter and yet never thought to mention it. A daughter that, judging by her age, had to have been born very shortly after Kim moved to Florida.

Tommy made his way to them with his long strides, still holding Jessie. Which is why it was Jason who caught Kim as she fainted.

* * *

A/N: So, I've been watching old episodes on Netflix lately, and this idea would not leave me alone until I got it down on paper.

I have at least a couple more chapters planned, but also an outline for a larger story beyond that if people are interested. If you enjoyed this, won't you pretty please send the author some love with a review?

Until next time!


	2. Chapter 2 - Questions Answered

AN: Wow! So much love from my readers for the first chapter! Each notice I got of a review, follow or favorite made me smile. For now, I am going to try to keep to a chapter a week, though I can't make any promises. But, since the muse has been kind, I decided to post a bonus one this week. For now, on with the story!

* * *

"Kim!"

"Mommy!"

Kim's limp, petite body landed in Jason's arms. "See, Tommy, you still have that effect on her." He grinned, remembering the number of times Kim had fainted in Tommy's presence for various reasons.

Tommy still held Jessica, and he bent down, trying to set her down, but she clung tighter to him, so he stood back up and adjusted his grip on her to make sure she was secure. He shifted her to his hip, holding her so naturally as though he had years of practice. He was practically holding his breath until he saw Kim's eyelids begin to flutter, and then breathed a sigh of relief when she opened her beautiful brown eyes.

Jason helped Kim to stand, keeping an arm around her until he was sure she was steady on her feet. "You alright, little sister?"

Kim nodded, not yet trusting her voice to respond. She looked to where Tommy stood, holding her daughter in his arms. She searched his face, trying to get an idea of what must be going through his head at this point. She had known that bringing Jessie was a risk, as she had known Tommy would be here, but she felt that her daughter deserved the chance to say goodbye to her Aunt Trini, and had thought she'd be able to keep the two apart. She had not anticipated Jessie finding her own way to him.

"Mommy! Are you ok? You should meet my new friend, Mr. Tommy. He's really strong and nice, and he's even taller than Uncle Jason! Maybe he'll give me a ride on his shoulders! I bet I'll be able to see *everything*."

Kim couldn't help but smile at her gregarious little girl. Jessie had always been like that, ever since she was a baby. She found her voice early in life, and used it to befriend everyone she could.

"Aww, sweetpea, I don't know if Mr. Tommy will be able to do that, at least not right now. Do you think you can go find Auntie 'Sha? Mommy would like to talk to Mr. Tommy for a little while."

"Okay. Can you put me down now, Mr. Tommy?"

"Sure thing, princess. It was very nice to meet you." He set her down gently.

She wrapped her little arms around his legs, giving him a hug. "Okay, Bye!"

With that, she skipped off, leaving Kim and Tommy face to face with one another. Their eyes locked, and the world melted away for a few moments, until Jason cleared his throat.

"I think I will go make sure she doesn't wander off again and leave you two to talk."

Tommy gave him a nod, and Kim, whose eyes had initially flashed with panic at the thought of being left alone with the one time love of her life, took a deep breath and also gave him a nod.

"Thanks, Jase. I'll come find you when it's time to go."

Jason walked off, heading in the direction Jessie had skipped away a moment ago. This left Kim and Tommy alone, as they were at the edge of the assembled crowd of mourners.

Tommy turned to her, and nodded his head to a curved concrete bench under a tree about 15 yards away. "You want to come and sit? Might be a bit easier to talk there...away from...everything."

He instinctively reached for her hand to lead her there, as he had so many times when they had been together, but then remembered that she was not his anymore, and tucked his hands in the pocket of his suit pants instead.

If Kim had seen the gesture, she chose not to remark on it, but did give a nod of agreement and followed him to the bench. She sat down, careful to stay to one end so that their legs would not be touching. She knew what the power of his touch had always been able to do to her, and she needed to keep it together long enough to get through the conversation she had dreaded having for the last 6 years.

Both were silent for a moment, not sure where to begin after so long, but finally it was Tommy who decided to make the first move, just as he had when asking her to that dance what seemed an eternity ago.

"Kim, before we say anything else, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Trini. I know how close you two have always been, and I can only imagine what you must be going through right now...she was lucky to have you as a friend."

Kim let out a half sob, half laugh. "Thank you, Tommy. It was me who was lucky to have had her."

Tommy waited to see what Kim might say next. The pause seemed to stretch on forever, and he was wondering if maybe she wasn't planning to say anything, when finally she spoke.

"So, you met my Jessie. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. She's kind of been Fate's little instrument from day 1. I should have known she would find her way to you."

"She's certainly a feisty little thing. Reminds me of a certain gymnast with a penchant for pink that I remember."

At this, Kim gave him a genuine smile. "I'll take that as a compliment. She's certainly quite a big personality in a small package. But she's the joy and light of my life. I wouldn't have her any other way."

Kim wiped her eyes, and cleared her throat.

"I am guessing you have lots of questions. This might just go easier if you ask me what you want to know."

Tommy decided to get right to the point. "Kim...Jessie...how old is she? Is she...is she mine? She looks mostly like you, but…"

Kim shook her head. "Jessie is 5. Yes, she was born in Florida, but no, she's not yours. Dear God, you have know idea how many times I've wished she was."

That took Tommy by surprise. According to the letter, she'd only thought of him as a brother. His mind flashed back to that day, the hurt that her words had caused. The look of pain must have shown on his face, because Kim's own face looked stricken at the very visible reminder of the hurt she'd caused him, and the evidence that it still pained him to this day.

"I know what you are thinking. That damned letter. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to go back to that moment, to make sure I never sent that thing...that letter ruined everything. Everything…"

"Kim, I don't understand...was there someone else or not?"

"There was...and there wasn't…"

"Kim, what…I'm going to need a bit more than that..."

"You're right. I owe you more than that...I owe you the whole truth of it. I promise, I will tell you the whole story, but you have to let me get it all out...and I would prefer it not be here, with so many people...how long are you in town for?"

"I am heading out tomorrow afternoon. I have to get back. What about you, when are you heading back to Florida?"

"I don't live in Florida anymore. Haven't in a while. But I'll explain that too. Okay. Tonight then. After the Ranger gathering. I will see if Jase can take Jessie home and put her to bed. Where do you want to meet?"

Tommy wondered if he should suggest his hotel room, as that would give them the privacy they needed, but was pretty sure that could be taken wrong, and decided against that idea.

"Dinner? I think that pizza place we always liked is still open. Would that be alright?"

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea. We can talk there. After the Ranger gathering. It's walking distance from the Youth Center, if I remember correctly."

"I thought I was the one with the memory problems. Yeah, it's only about a mile or so. I may be old, but I can still walk that."

She gave a light laugh, and a small little smile. "Alright. Well, I'll see you at the Juice Bar, and then we'll talk after."

That reminded Tommy of something he'd wanted to know. Just how many of his friends had known about her child? Obviously Trini, Aisha and Jason, but who else?

"So...are all the others in on it? Was I the only one who didn't know about Jessica?"

Kim had the decency to look chagrined. "Yes...sorry. I swore them all to secrecy. But the only ones who have regular contact with her are Jason, 'Sha and well...Trini of course."

Tommy stood, and offered her his hand to help her up. Old habits died hard. She took it and stood. "Alright, I will see you there, then."

Tommy watched her walk away, back to the gathered mourners who were starting to disperse. He made his way over to Trini's parents to offer his condolences before heading back to his car. The entire drive back to the hotel, he was thinking about the conversation he'd already had with Kim, the surprises he'd gotten today, and the additional talk still to come.

* * *

AN2: Alright, there we go. Hope you enjoyed this one. I know it was short. I am making up for it with the next one being longer. Next chapter up Saturday!


	3. Chapter 3 - The Parting Glass

AN: Well the muse is still really flowing on in this. Watching old episodes and seeing them as teenagers so happy and in love is making this easier to write. I have to fix the universe to the way it should have been! Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It means a lot to me. On with the story!

* * *

Tommy drove back to his hotel, intending to change and take the time to think before the Ranger gathering and then the promised talk with Kim. Seeing her had brought back every smile and laugh they had ever shared, and every heartbreak and tear he had shed, some with her, some because of her. He knew he wanted to clear the air with her, but then what? Could they ever really be just friends? Could they maybe get back what they had lost, and build something better? And then, there was the kid to consider. She said she didn't have a Daddy...and she sounded so sad about that. If he and Kim did try to start again, it wouldn't just be the two of them and their feelings to consider, but a little girl's as well, who didn't understand their history, and wouldn't understand if things didn't work out...God he needed to talk to Jason about all of this. He was still a bit pissed that Jason had kept all of this from him, but understood that he'd had his reasons. Kim had always been an off limits topic between them. In the early years, once he and Jason had both reconnected after the Peace Summit and once Tommy had finally laid down the mantle of Ranger, Jason had tried to talk to him about Kim and if maybe he had let her go too easily. Tommy had shut that down quickly, explaining one night, after a lot of drinks, just how visceral the pain she had caused him was...the dark thoughts he had once had because of that pain, and how he could never go back to that again. So why was he considering it now? Had enough time passed? Or was it because even with the hurt she'd caused him, no other woman since had ever been able to make him feel the way she had, and it was still her face he always saw in his most pleasant dreams at night?

He looked at the clock, realizing his musings had gone on far longer than intended and he was going to be rather late. He threw on a clean white tank with a long sleeved flannel over it in a green and white plaid pattern. He realized after a quick look in the mirror that this outfit was similar to the one he wore on one of his first dates with Kim, minus of course the long hair.

* * *

Across town, in the guest bedroom of Jason's house, Kim had just as many thoughts going through her head as she helped Jessie out of the somber black dress and into something more befitting the 5 year old's personality. It never ceased to amaze her that her daughter's favorite color was green. The same color her Tommy had worn when they had first been together and fallen in love. As she pulled the dress over her head, Jessie noticed that her mother seemed to be more quiet and thoughtful than usual.

"Mommy, why are you sad now? Do you not like my new friend? Is he the one you talk about in your sleep when you are sad sometimes?"

Kim was startled, taken aback by that comment. She'd had no idea that Jessie had ever heard her call out Tommy's name.

"If he makes you sad, Mommy, then I won't be he friend anymore…"

Jesse's voice sounded small, making it clear she really didn't want to do that, but would for her mother's sake.

Kim wrapped her daughter in her arms, sitting down on the bed and pulling her into her lap. She wondered how much was safe to tell her daughter, how much she could understand.

"No baby, it's okay. You can be his friend. He was a very good friend of Mommy's a long time ago. Even better than Uncle Jason. But when Mommy moved away to Florida, she made a lot of mistakes. One of those mistakes was telling Tommy that Mommy didn't want to be friends anymore. He was so far away, and Mommy thought it would be easier that way. It was a very stupid thing, and Mommy has always been unhappy she did that, because I missed him, very much. But I didn't know how to say I was sorry, so I just didn't. Which is why Mommy sounds sad when she says his name. It is because Mommy misses him, and because I wished I could say sorry."

"So are you going to say you are sorry to Mr. Tommy now? Are you going to see if he wants to be friends again?"

Kim smiled at her angel's innocence. If only things could really be that simple.

"Yes, princess. Mommy is going to tell him that she is sorry. As to being friends again…Mommy would like that if he can forgive me."

"Mommy, if you say you are sorry, and you mean it, then he has to forgive you. That's being nice."

"I hope so baby, I really do. Come on. Let's get you dressed. You are going to spend the afternoon with Uncle Jason's parents, and then Uncle Jason will bring you home and get you to bed. And don't think I don't know that he lets you stay up late and watch cartoons with him. I don't mind, as long as you aren't up too late."

Jessie jumped up and down with delight. The only cartoons that Kim normally allowed on a regular basis were educational, so being allowed to watch some just for fun was a fun treat.

Jessie pulled on a pair of jeans and socks on her own, then waited for her mother to tie her shoes. She the slipped on her favorite shirt, a pretty sage green t-shirt with cartoon dinosaurs on the front of it.

"Can I go play with my toys now until we go?"

"Sure, princess. Just don't go outside and get dirty."

Jessie ran out of the room to go play, and Kim changed her own clothes. She put on a pretty pale pink dress with a white floral print, and a pair of sensible flats. She wasn't quite the fashionista she had once been, but she still enjoyed pretty clothes, as long as they were practical and easy to wash. Keeping up with a kid as active as Jessie meant lots of laundry.

Kim had just finished changing and was fixing her hair when she heard a knock at the door. She turned to find Jason there, also changed for the gathering, in his trademark red. She found it funny how they all still seemed to gravitate towards their colors after all these years. She wondered what color Tommy preferred, having worn three before his time as a Ranger had been done.

"Hey Kim, mind if I come in?"

"Of course you can. It's your house silly."

Jason stepped into the room. "Wasn't sure if you needed more time on your own to think or process everything."

Kim smiled at him, grateful for the consideration. "It's okay. We both knew this was a possibility with me being here, especially with bringing Jessie. And honestly, it's time. It was time a long time ago, and he deserves the truth. I was just so afraid of what he would say...of the look in his eyes when I tell him everything."

Jason have gave her a look that said *bullshit*. "You and I both know that the only thing you will see in his eyes is love and understanding and that if you do see anything else, he's not the man either of us know him to be."

She heaved a deep sigh. While she may have been off limits between Tommy and Jason, the reverse was not true. Tommy had been a frequent topic of conversation between the two of them over the years. This was an argument they'd had many times before.

"I know! Believe me, I know. But it's just...the hope has been one of the few things that kept me going in the darkest times, and I was never willing to take the chance, however small it may be, of telling him and having my worst fears come true because then that hope would be gone forever."

Jason wrapped her in his arms and gave her a crushing hug. "And even if that happened, which you and I both know it won't, But even if it did, you would still have me, and 'Sha, Zack and Billy and the others...and most importantly, you'd still have Jessie. You'd be okay."

Kim wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a surprisingly strong hug for such a small woman. "Thanks, Jase. I don't know what In would do without you sometimes."

"You'd make it just fine, Kim. You are a survivor. Always have been. You got yourself, and the team out of so many awful situations. You took everything that was thrown at you, and you fought back twice as hard. Don't underestimate your own strength and will to survive."

Kim stood on her tiptoes to give him a sisterly peck on the cheek. "You are a good big brother. I would say it is a shame you never had any younger siblings of your own, but that means I don't have to share, so I am okay with that. Let's collect the little monkey before she manages to get herself dirty, so we won't be horribly late."

Jessie was in the living room, playing with some of her toys. Jason came up behind her quietly, scooping her into the air, eliciting a squeal of delight from Jessie and a chuckle from Kim. Jason put her on his back for a piggy back ride, leaving Kim to pack up her toys in her daughter's little backpack. They were dropping her off with Jason's parents who were watching her while they went to the Ranger gathering. Jessie was still too little to be told about that part of their lives. Jason would pick her up there and take her home, allowing Kim to have her much needed time with Tommy. She was still nervous, but a part of her was relieved that at least it would be over and done with now.

* * *

The old juice bar had been decked out for the occasion. There were black banners and hangings, with Ranger colors spread throughout, and pictures of Trini everywhere. The place had been rented for the day, courtesy of Zack, and Jason had made sure Ernie knew that no staff would be needed today, as they would take care of their own refreshments and clean up. Ernie had been more than happy to agree for a rare day off.

Jason arrived with Kim, and they immediately set to getting the refreshments set up. Kim was taking care of the sodas and juices and punch and such, while Jason was getting the adult beverages iced and ready.

The large gym area had been cleared, with chairs set up all around there, and chairs in other places throughout the Youth Center. Other than Trini's own team, and the three who followed her, other Rangers had been invited as well. Not because they necessarily knew Trini, but because they were part of the Ranger legacy, and had deserved to have the chance to say farewell to one of their own. Rangers were a fraternity, a brotherhood and sisterhood of all those who served. And the loss of one was felt by all who had ever worn the uniform. Plus, she had been one of the original team, and without her and her legacy, chances were good none of the rest of them would be here.

Jason finished getting the adult beverages on ice, and had just moved on to setting up the platters of food when Zack and Billy arrived. Billy had gotten special permission to visit from Aquitar for the occasion. They headed over to Kim and Jason, and they wrapped them both in a big group hug. No words needed to be spoken between them for them to know that they were all thinking of the number of time the 5 of them had been together in this place, and how they would never be all together again here, at least not in this life.

They held tight to each other for a few moments, all shedding silent tears, before Billy finally broke the silence. "Alright, Jason. What can we assist you with?" Jason cleared his eyes with the backs of his hands and then smiled, doling out tasks to the others so that everything would be ready when everyone else arrived.

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time Tommy arrived. Rocky, Adam, Aisha, and Tanya were all there, and many other Rangers that Tommy didn't recognize, but knew them for what they were. When you served as long as he had, you developed a sixth sense for recognizing brothers and sisters in arms.

He went and grabbed a drink, needing to take the edge off his nervousness for both this gathering and the dinner and talk with Kim. Rocky was the first to make his way over to him.

"Hey Tommy, it's good to see you, though I wish it was for better reasons."

"Thanks, man. You too. I feel bad how out of touch I have let myself get. What are you up to these days?"

"Oh, not much. Running a dojo in Portland now."

"Wow, Portland! That's certainly a change. You like it up there?"

"Yeah, the climate's not bad and it's a good market. I mean, it's nothing as impressive as getting my PhD, but I am pretty happy."

Tommy smiled a bit. "Eh, it's not that big a deal...but it's a lot of work. Still, I need to be better about staying in touch."

"We all do, man. If any good could possibly come of this, it will be that we will remember how precious our time here is, and how important it is to stay in touch."

"Definitely. Look's like Jason's about to make a speech. I'll catch you later."

Sure enough, everyone was quieting down and focusing their attention towards Jason in the middle of the room.

"First, I wanted to thank everyone for coming. Trini was always so modest about herself, so I think it would have surprised and maybe even embarrassed her a bit to have so many people here to celebrate her amazing, but all too short life. Some of you didn't know her personally, but came to honor her as a fallen sister in arms, one of a member of an elite club of people who have been called on to take up their morphers and defend the world from evil. She was one of the first, the original Yellow Ranger, and to those of us she served with, she was our teammate and friend. They don't know that I am going to do this, but I would like to ask the members of the original team to come on up here with me, so that we can each share our favorite Ranger memory of Trini."

Zack, Billy, and Kim made their way up to Jason's side from the various locations where they had been around the room. Jason paused, then gave Tommy a look and motioned for him to join them as well. Tommy did so, and then Jason began.

* * *

An hour or so later, once the five of them had shared their stories, Jason raised his glass. "To Trini, first Yellow Ranger, friend, sister in arms, and amazing person. You spent most of your life working towards peace, and now we can only hope you have found it. May the Power still Protect You, wherever you are."

"TO TRINI!"

Glasses were raised and everyone drank a toast to her. Once the toast was over, Kim headed to the ladies room to clean up a bit, as the memories and toasting had definitely had her crying again, and she didn't want to look like a complete wreck when she and Tommy went out in a little while. _It's not a date._ She had to keep reminding herself of that. Yet it was still the first time they would be out together alone since she had left for Florida. She couldn't help but be nervous. She took care with her hair, and fixing her makeup; taking comfort in the familiar routine.

Back in the main room gathering, Tommy had finally gotten the chance to pull Jason aside for a few private words.

"So...Uncle Jason, huh?"

Jason looked a little chagrined but shrugged. "Wasn't my story to tell, and even if it was, you made it clear pretty early on that Kim was not a topic of conversation you wanted to discuss."

"Fair enough. So...what can you tell me? That wouldn't be betraying her confidence? So that I am not completely in the dark tonight?"

Jason's face was pensive for a moment, and the pause was long enough that Tommy thought he may not reply. Finally, Jason nodded.

"I can tell you the last six years have not been easy for her. As I am sure you have guessed at least in part. But you know Kim, she's always been a survivor."

"And Jessie? There was a moment I thought...I thought she might be mine. Age wise...it was possible."

"I never would have kept that from you, bro. At that point, it wouldn't have been just Kim's secret and story. If Jessie were yours, I would never have let Kim keep her from a father who would have loved her."

Tommy took a deep breath. "So, she's not with anyone right now, right?"

Jason chuckled. "Why, you planning to put the moves on her already?"

Tommy's eyes went wide. "No, of course not. But I do want to know where things stand...and exactly how much I should hope for."

Jason clapped him on the back. "She's single, but obviously, there is Jessie to consider. Kim would never be able to allow anyone into her life that didn't want to be there for both of them."

Tommy nodded. "I get that...hell I don't even know if she would want to be anything other than friends again anyway...but if she did, I know we would have to be cautious of the munchkin's feelings too."

Jason saw the affection in Tommy's eyes as he spoke of Jessie, and any worries he'd had about the two of them making it work this time were gone. He had known for years that they belonged together. Kim just had to stop punishing herself for the mistakes of her past, and Tommy had to let go of the pain and focus on the future.

"I think you'll be alright, brother. Just remember, if you hurt my little sister, or goddaughter, I will have to kill you and bury you where no one will ever find you. But for what it's worth, I highly doubt it will come to that."

Tommy swallowed thickly, then nodded. "Thanks, bro. You know I would never intentionally cause her pain. Even after all this time, and everything that happened between us, her tears wreck me."

"Come on. We better get back out there before everyone thinks we've run off."

The pair of friends rejoined the gathering at about the same time Kim returned. As if to further prove Jason's point, the two former lovers locked eyes as soon as they came into the room together. Jason clapped a hand on Tommy's shoulder to bring him back to reality. "Good luck, brother. Something tells me you'll be fine. Just...be patient and understanding."

Tommy nodded at Jason, and then crossed the room to Kim. "Hey there...so, did you have other people you wanted to see ad catch up with, or were you ready to go?"

Kim looked around, and then turned back to Tommy. "No, I am ready if you are. I think I have had enough of the large crowds today."

"Alright, let's get out of here then. Hopefully the rain has let up, so we can enjoy the walk."

As the left the Youth Center, a place where so much of their adolescence had been spent, they couldn't know that behind them, several people were gathered in conversation, watching them go and wishing them well.

* * *

AN: Okay, I know I am awful. The talk next chapter, I promise. I may eventually write an outtakes scene with all the memories that the Rangers shared, but I would need to rewatch some of the older episodes first. This way, for now, you can imagine what each of the Ranger's favorites memories of Trini would be for yourself. Keep those lovely reviews coming! Next chapter will be up Wednesday.


	4. Chapter 4 - Revelation & Reconsiliation

AN: Hello again, my lovely readers. Hope you are all still enjoying this. Finally, the long awaited talk. This chapter deals with a potentially triggering subject, but it is presented in a non graphic manner. Also a little bit of naughty language. On with the story.

* * *

They walked to the pizza place at which they had spent many dates in their younger years. Tommy had second guessed his suggestion of this place several times this afternoon, but Kim hadn't seemed to mind, so he figured she must not mind it.

At first, there was no conversation, both seemingly afraid to break the silence. Tommy was about to cave and start the conversation when Kim spoke up.

"So, Jessie was quite taken with you. She couldn't stop talking about the nice Mr. Tommy. Had practice with little kids?"

Tommy shook his head. "Nope. I spend my time these days in libraries, reading research papers and the like. I don't spend any time with younger kids. I don't even have the time to teach martial arts classes like I used to. My life is all books and such now. But, Jessie's easy to get along with. She's so intelligent, and friendly. I can't imagine anyone not hitting it off with her."

She gave a little chuckle. "Yes. She does seem to have that effect on people. Still, it is worrisome sometimes. We've had a few 'Stranger Danger' talks, but she just can't seem to help herself."

"Oh, she said I wasn't. A stranger, that is. She saw me and Jason talking, and then a hug, and she decided that if I was friends with her 'Uncle Jason', then that meant I wasn't a stranger."

"Well...it's certainly hard to fault that logic. Too smart for her own good most of the time."

"So...did you tell her? That we knew each other?"

Kim nodded. "I explained a little of it, yes. She's five, so there is only so much she can understand at this point. And obviously, she doesn't know anything about our Ranger pasts. Not yet. Maybe when she's older I'll tell her. But yes, she knows we were very good friends once."

Tommy nodded. They had been so much more than that, but understood that there were things Jessie was too young to hear or understand. Still, he wondered how she had explained why they had never met before, if he and Kim had been such good friends. He was about to ask, but remembered what Jason said, about patience, and decided to let her be the one to bring it up.

* * *

They arrived at the restaurant, and it was fairly busy. Kim took one look inside, and then turned to Tommy.

"Hey...would you mind terribly if we did take out and went to the lake in the park instead? I know it's a bit of a walk...but I really don't want a bunch of people around. We had so many good times there...everything might be easier there."

"Sure, Kim. We'll order and take it to go...We could go back for my car if you wanted to while we wait for our order to be done. That way, we can get to the lake faster, and the food will still be hot."

"Alright, that sounds like a good idea. Good thinking."

Tommy went in and placed their order, remembering still what Kim's favorite thing here was, even with his swiss cheese brain. Funny, he forgot a lot of things in his life, but remembered pretty much everything when it came to Kim.

Once the order was places, they walked back to the Youth Center to pick up his car. It was a fairly new black Jeep, well kept and clean inside and out.

"You always have had a thing for those. Jeeps that is. But why black?"

"Well, it's a rental, so I didn't have much choice, but when you have worn as many colors as I have over the years, sometimes you appreciate basic black."

Kim smiled and nodded. "I'll admit, I wondered what color you'd be wearing. We all still seem to sticks to our colors, even so many years later. But you wore three different ones, so I wasn't sure what you would wear."

He smiled, finding it strange and yet comforting that they were talking about something so mundane as clothes. "I wear a mix of the three, but never together, unless it's Christmas. But tonight...you never knew me in red, so I think I went with this because it reminded me of when we were young."

Tommy helped her up into the Jeep, hold it her hand for maybe a moment longer than was necessary, before climbing into the driver's seat and heading back to the pizza place.

Fifteen minutes later, they had their food and were headed for the lake. They pulled into a parking spot at the park, and Tommy came around to help Kim down. He reached into the backseat for a beach towel that he had tossed back there and figured that would make an adequate picnic blanket. For all of him convincing himself this wasn't a date, it was sure starting to feel like one.

* * *

They walked to a spot by the little lake, and he spread out the towel, setting the carryout bags in the middle, subconsciously creating a barrier between them. He had to try to get some distance, before he forgot why they were here.

They ate in silence, with the occasional remarks on the food, both saying how it still tastes the same as they remember, her teasing him about his famous bad memory, and other lighthearted conversation.

Tommy talked a little bit about what he'd been up to, find if his brother, racing for his uncle, and now working on his PhD. He couldn't tell her everything about his work, wasn't sure how much she would want to hear, but he shared some things, hoping to rebuild that sense of friendliness and familiarity between them. Finally, they had gotten mostly caught up on him and his life, and Kim knew the time had come.

"Okay, Kim. If you are ready to talk, then I am ready to listen. I have carried so much pain and anger over what happened for so long. But I think it it time to put that behind us...but I need to know why…"

Kim took a deep breath. "Okay. I will tell you everything. It's a hard story for me to tell, but you are right, you deserve to hear it. Jason and my parents are the only other people who have heard the full story. My mother...didn't take it well. Jason's the only one who has been really supportive."

Kim's nervousness was starting to build. It was coming off her in tangible waves. Tommy had the feeling he really wasn't going to like this story.

Kim took a deep, calming breath. "Okay...first of all...the letter...I didn't mean a word of it. You have never been a brother to me. I wrote that, because I knew that those words would hurt you, and would be the only thing that kept you from coming to Florida for me."

"So there was someone else then...obviously...there had to be. If Jessie isn't mine, then, you had to have found someone else, and fairly quickly…"

"I wasn't with him...Jessie's conception wasn't planned...or exactly consensual…"

"WHAT?!"

She flinched when he yelled. "Shh...don't yell, please."

He was immediately apologetic. "Shit...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just...you said exactly...it either was or it wasn't...Kim...what happened?"

"He was a fellow gymnast, on the men's team. But he had a reputation, as a love them and leave them type. I wasn't interested, I had you waiting for me in Angel Grove after all, but he seemed content to just be friends, and that was fine with me. We'd been working so hard, and he convinced a bunch of us to go with him to a college party one night. I shouldn't have. I knew it was stupid, but I was exhausted from training, and I missed you all so much. I just wanted a night out. So I went. Of course, there was alcohol everywhere. I was intending to not drink any, as that would have been a big no no with coach if we had gotten caught. But someone handed me a drink and it tasted like juice, so I didn't think anything of it. Of course, it was spiked, and I was a heck of a lightweight. Other girls who were there said that I got really flirty with Michael after that, and we looked like we were having a good time. They knew I had a boyfriend back home, but guessed I knew what I was doing. But I didn't...Michael brought me another drink, and this one had something besides alcohol in it. I remember nothing after the first drink. Other people there said I went with him upstairs, laughing and giggling, but looked really out of it. Some said he had to help me up the stairs.

I woke up alone in bed the next morning, naked, and it didn't take long to figure out what had happened. I managed to get back to the dorms, and I confronted him about it that afternoon. He said it was my word against his, and that everyone at the party saw me flirting with him. I didn't realize at the time, that they could have tested me for the rohypnol, so I decided to just try to forget about it. He said I had told him I wanted it, so he hadn't done anything wrong. I couldn't remember anything, so I let it go. I thought he was right, that it was my word against his. I was worried sick how I was going to tell you...but knew I had some time to figure it out. I didn't...I didn't know if you'd believe me, or blame me for going to the party and drinking in the first place. So I threw myself into training, and that worked...for about two months. I was getting sick a lot, but I figured it was just because of the stress, and the fact I was underweight due to coach's diet restrictions, but then one day I fainted at practice. They took me to the clinic, and the nurse had me take a pregnancy test. Of course, it was positive...And that's how Jessie came to be. They did an ultrasound and found out I was already about 8-10 weeks along.

I got kicked off the team of course. When I told Michael, when I finally wrapped my head around it, he said that was my problem, and he wanted nothing to do with a kid. I did the only thing I could, I called my mom...she wasn't pleased. She blamed me for being so stupid to go to that party. She told me she would let me come to Paris, but only if I 'took care of the problem' first. I haven't spoken to her since. Then I called my dad. We hadn't really been close since the divorce, but he was much more understanding. So, he called my grandmother in Florida and asked if I could come stay with her. She agreed of course, so I moved in there.

I called 'Sha to tell her, and ask her what I should do, how I should tell you, but before I could get it out, she told me how well Katherine was doing with the team, and how close the two of you seemed to be getting. And that's when I knew what I had to do. I couldn't burden you with another man's child. You had so much to look forward to in life, and it had been my own actions that put me in the situation I was in. So that's when I wrote the letter. I had to let you go, to move on, and I knew I had to do it in a way that would make sure you didn't come after me. Because I knew if I told you, you'd probably kill Michael, or you'd look at me differently, and I couldn't bear the thought of it. I couldn't bear the thought of you staying with me out of pity, either. I am guessing you called Jason at some point, because a few weeks after I moved in with my grandmother, I got a call from a very angry Jason. I broke down, told him the whole story, and he was on the next flight to Florida. He begged me to tell you the truth, but I couldn't. I was so ashamed of putting myself into that situation in the first place. I swore him to secrecy, which he agreed to, but only after my assurances that there was no way the baby could be yours.

And now you know. I told myself I was doing it to protect you, but really, it was to protect myself. I have regretted it so many times. I lost count of the number of times I picked up the phone to call you, tell you everything, and beg your forgiveness. But my pride and fear got in the way. One stupid mistake, and it cost me so much. Grant you, I did get something wonderful out of it. I can't imagine my life without my baby girl, and she's been worth every heartache I've had as a result of that night. But losing you...losing us...that has been the one thing that I have regretted every day of my life. I should have given you the chance. I should have trusted you with the truth, and let you make up your own mind about whether or not you were willing to forgive me, and accept Jessie even though she wasn't yours. But I was so broken at that point, even though you had never done anything for me to doubt your love, that I decided that I would save you the trouble of ending our relationship, which I was sure would happen. I didn't want you to be the bad guy, since I was the one who made the mistake. And I've paid for that decision for 6 years."

Tommy had been stunned to silence. He hadn't known what to expect, but sitting here, listening to the only woman he ever had, or ever would love, telling him she'd been raped, because that's what it was, even if Kim didn't see it that way, that was something he had never expected. She was right, he would have found this Michael guy and probably beaten him to death. Which was why Kim had done what she had done...to save him from becoming that kind of man. He knew some of her motivations had been selfish, but he believed that at the time, she thought she was doing the right thing. And he couldn't believe that Kim's mother had turned her back on her like that. What kind of a woman would treat her daughter that way?

Tommy didn't realize how long he had been lost in thought when he heard Kim's voice, sounding so small and unsure.

"Tommy...say something...I know it's a lot to take in but I am hoping that in time, you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the hurt I caused with what I did…"

A few tears gathered at the corners of her beautiful eyes, and that was his undoing. He threw caution to the wind, and immediately wrapped her in his arms, holding her close.

"Kim...there is nothing to forgive. Not anymore. You did nothing wrong...you were raped. That's not your fault. Even though you went to that party, and even if you had been drinking willingly, it wouldn't have been your fault. The only thing you did wrong was not trusting that our relationship was strong enough to get through it...but I understand why. You were 17, pregnant and scared and I was on the other side of the country...you did what you felt you had to in order to survive and get through it. I can't forgive you, Beautiful, because there is nothing to forgive…"

At his use of his old term of endearment for her, and the feeling of rightness of being back in his arms, Kim broke down sobbing, both in regret for time gone by, and relief in his acceptance of her and what had happened. Tommy simply held her as she wept, knowing that this was something she had likely needed to do for a long time.

Minutes, Hell, maybe hours went by, and he held her until she was all cried out and her sobs had become hiccups. His shirt was pretty well soaked with her tears, but that was a small price to pay. When she gave a gentle push on his chest with her hand, he released her, never wanting her to feel trapped by him.

Kim wiped her eyes, and then looked up into Tommy's. "So...where do we go from here?"

"Well...I guess that depends on what we both want...what do you want Kim? You want to try being friends? Or do you want something more...like we had? I don't know if you even still feel that way about me…"

"I do! I haven't been with anyone since that night...intimately or dating...how could I? The only man I have ever or will ever love is you...i understand if you don't want that anymore...but it's the truth. I am not trying to pressure or guilt you into anything, I just wanted to be honest with you because I think I have spent enough time not being honest with you and…"

"Beautiful, you are rambling." He flashed her that winning smile she remembered. "I feel the same way...I can't say I haven't been with anyone, you know I have. But I have never loved any of them. Couldn't have...because there was a certain gymnast who still held my heart."

"So...we want to try again then? How do we make this work? You are at MIT and I am back in California…"

"We take it slow at first...phone calls, emails...instant messenger...whatever it takes. I still have some money saved up from racing, so I will visit when I can...wait, back in California?"

"Yeah. My grandmother passed before Jessie was 2. She left me some money, and the house in Florida, I didn't want to stay there all alone, so Jason convinced me to move back to California. I got my teaching degree online, and now I teach gym at an elementary school in a suburb of Sacramento. I do some private gymnastics coaching on the side."

"Wow. That's impressive that you were able to get your degree while taking care of Jessie. What is her full name by the way?"

"Jessica Trini Hart. I named her for Jason and Trini. They were both so supportive. Jason was there for me every step of the way, was even there she was born. Trini couldn't be there as much in person, but she checked in at least weekly and visited when she could…God I miss her."

"Me too...but I think she would find joy in being the reason that finally got us back together and talking again."

"I think she would too. She wasn't as pushy as Jason, but she knew, that someday we would find our way back together."

"She always has been a wise woman. So...did you want to go get some ice cream or something, or should I take you home? Staying at Jason's, right?"

"Yes, I am. And as much as I hate to end this night, for fear that I'll wake up and it will have all been a dream, I should get home."

"Okay...could we see each other in the morning before my flight? Or would that be too soon? I'd like to take you and Jessie to breakfast, if that would be okay."

"I'd like that, and she'd love it. Say 10am?"

"I thought kids were usually up early?"

"She normally would be, but I know Jason let her stay up late and eat junk food, so she'll sleep in."

"Alright. 10am. Come on, let's get you home."

He dropped walked her to the door. "Okay, Beautiful. I will see you in the morning. Sleep well and dream sweet."

She couldn't help but grin. "You too, Handsome."

She stood on her tiptoe and pulled his head down, placing the faintest, most feathery kids on his lips. "Goodnight, Handsome."

"Goodnight, Beautiful."

* * *

AN: Well, there you have it. I hope I did that justice. So, now we'll have one more chapter at this time point, and then we can move forward and see how their relationship grows. Hope you enjoyed it and that I did it justice. Until next time.


End file.
